I'm not the best with my job, so I'm not having the best time here. My mistakes and often lethargic nature at work are catching up with me, which I do deserve, but even when I try, I just can't seem to try hard enough, because it seems like this past week, I keep getting brain farts and either doing something stupid or not practicing situational awareness. If I don't get my act together, then I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'm not considering all my options.

"Keep it inside, the image portrayed
As if I couldnt stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way
A small confession I think I'm starting to lose it
I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need
A small reflection on when we were younger
We had it all figured out 'cause we had everything covered
Now were older its getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us, what the F*** are we going to be?"
-"Still Frame" by Trapt


I'm just being emo right now, so hopefully not many will see this. I know I'm still not trying my best, but when faced with the possible consequences I face if I screw up again, and thinking of my family, I feel like I've already failed them and myself, so I have that voice in my head saying, "What's the point? You're just going to screw up again."

I know, I know, I'm more mature and smarter than this. I can't dwell here. In the big picture of things, I see this as a trial and a test, and thank God, it's not over yet, so I can still pick myself up. I just hope I can make it.

Peace
Shimizu aka David